Tool Read online

  "Can we talk about something else?" I ask.   I don't want to think about Gaige anymore.   And I definitely don't want to think about whatever he and Chelsea are doing in Vegas.   I'm sure the liquor is flowing like water, and Chelsea is doing exactly what she did with him in the office, her hand lingering too long on his arm.   Except this time she's probably wearing some skimpy dress and he's all over her.   I shake off the feeling of disgust I get when I think about the two of them together.

  "You're a little touchy about this," Daniel says, studying my expression.   I avoid looking at him, grateful when the waitress interrupts us with our checks.

  "What?" I ask, after she leaves.

  Daniel shrugs.   "I've never seen you so touchy about someone before," he says.   "You're not into him, are you?"

  "Don't be ridiculous," I say, forcing a laugh.   "That would be insane.   Of course I'm not into him.   I don't even like him. "

  "Sure, doll," he says, still looking at me.   "Whatever you say. "

  Thump thump thump thump.   The pounding of the bass in the club vaguely matches the throbbing of my head.   I should be fucking ecstatic, sitting in the VIP section of one of the hottest clubs in Vegas, getting paid to hit on hot girls and drink only the most expensive liquor.   Chelsea isn't even glued to my side like I thought she'd be.   As much as I know she'd be all over me in a heartbeat if I gave her the green light, she's also all about business and she knows that it's good for business for me to be picking up chicks.   It's all about the motherfucking brand.

  Page 18

  The problem is, all of this is for show.   I still have my boot on, which gives me a great excuse for sitting here with my leg propped up instead of having to fake being into this whole thing.   And I'm drinking club soda instead of liquor.   I haven't even banged a single model in the bathroom.

  Gaige O'Neal, sober and celibate.   Hell really has frozen right the fuck over.

  Maybe I'm having a stroke or something.   Personality change is a symptom of stroke, isn't it?  Or I have a brain tumor.   I make a mental note to talk to my doctor when I get back to Dallas: "Doc, I'm feeling different from my usual whorish self.   I think I might be ill. "  It's a perfectly legitimate concern.

  The girl on my right paws at me, leaning over, her long brown hair grazing my arm, and for a second when I glance at her hair, I'm reminded of Delaney.

  As if I could forget Delaney.   She's been running through my head since we left Dallas.   Last night, I threw my phone in the bottom of my bag and watched TV in the hotel room until I passed out, just so I could avoid thinking about her and where she was going dressed the way she was.   At the fan event today, I could have sworn I even saw her in the crowd.

  Maybe I do have a fucking tumor.

  "I'm not wearing panties. "  The girl has to yell it into my ear, despite being so close to me I can feel her lips against my skin.   I look down at her, letting my gaze linger on her long tan legs and her short-short white dress.   The dress with no panties underneath.

  "Maybe next time," I say.   Part of me thinks I should say yes.   What I need to do is take that girl in the bathroom and fuck her up against the bathroom stall.   I could shake myself out of this slump.

  Except it's not as much of a slump as it is the fact that my thoughts are preoccupied with Delaney.

  The girl slides her hand over my chest, and I push it away, careful not to be too forceful.   I want to fling it off me, get her disgusting paw away from me.   But Gaige O'Neal doesn't do that.   Gaige O'Neal is always up for a good time.

  She leans in closer.   "I'm up for anything," she says.   "Anything. "

  I groan.   Normally, I'd be all over this.   The girl is hot – she's tall, thin, looks like she stepped off the pages of a fashion magazine, and she's offering anything.   Anything is exactly what I like to hear.

  And I'm turning it down?

  Something is definitely wrong with me.

  I break down and text Delaney.

  Have you used it yet?

  It's not more than a minute before she responds.

  Of course not.

  Then, a second later, she sends another text:

  Obviously, I built a shrine to it in my room.

  I'm sure Delaney was so embarrassed by it that she has it stashed away somewhere in the room where no one would ever find it.   Under her bed, maybe, or in the closet.   She's private like that.   She embarrasses easily.   I used to love getting a rise out of her, watching her blush when I'd say anything even remotely sexual to her.   Innuendo used to make her face turn pink. It's still just as fun getting under her skin.

  Aw, he's meant to be touched, not to be put on a pedestal.

  Chelsea catches my eye from where she sits at the other side of the VIP area and glares at me, then looks at the phone.   It's business, I mouth, and she shakes her head.   Yeah, yeah, whatever.   I'm supposed to be partying, doing shots off the taut little abdomens of college girls.

  The phone buzzes again and I click on the text.

  I'm sure the real thing is getting plenty of touching in Vegas.

  Delaney's obvious jealousy actually makes me pleased.   I don't know why she's insecure.   She's a fuckton more interesting than the girls I'm surrounded with, with their glazed-over eyes and their plastic bodies.   She's smart as hell.   Smarter than I am.   She's also prettier than these chicks – looks real, you know?  She's not a stick figure.   She's normal.   Curvy.   Really fucking curvy.

  In fact, my cock stirs just thinking about the way she looked, when she burst through the door of the guesthouse in the middle of my photo shoot, her shirt completely see-through and clinging to her tits.   If I think any more about Delaney and her curves, I'm going to have to go jerk off in the bathroom, and that could be awkward.

  Jealous?  Thought you had a hot date last night.

  I can't resist asking.   I want to know who the fuck she was with.   I don't even know if she has a fucking boyfriend.   She could have a damn fiancé, that's how much I know about her life since we've been apart.   I don't even know why the fuck I care.

  Page 19

  She's the one that got away.   The thought floats through my head, and that's proof positive that I'm losing my damn mind.   It's the fucking medication the doctor has me on that must be the problem.   There's no way Delaney Marlowe is some long lost love.   The only thing that got away from me was the chance to hook up with her.   That's what it is. She's just the one chick I never screwed.   I should still be pissed as fuck at her for not showing up that night.   And then for ignoring me, acting as if nothing ever happened between us.   And for leaving for college after that.   My phone buzzes again.

  LOL.   Date with a friend.

  Yeah, right.   What kind of friend is she dressing up for in boots like that?  I'm annoyed thinking about her and one of her girlfriends out picking up guys.   Or, hell, what if the friend is a guy?

  Friend with benefits?

  She doesn't respond.   I flip around on my phone, paging through my social media accounts, while the music in the club provides an annoying background for my thoughts.   I wait another few minutes, and get no response, then slide my phone in my pocket.

  Friend with benefits.   The thought of Delaney hooking up with someone else makes me unnaturally angry.   So angry, that when I look up to see Chelsea standing in front of me, I snap at her.   "What?"

  Chelsea leans in close, her hand on my arm, her breath warm against my ear.   "You're not having fun. "

  I shrug.   "I have to take a leak. "

  "The bodyguard will go with you. "

  Shit.   I can't even fucking take a leak on my own, without having some three-hundred-pound gorilla hold my damn dick for me?  Being rich and famous is a real trip, that's for goddamn sure.

  I'm too tired to even argue with Chelsea.   I don't care.   The bodyguard parts the sea of people
in the club and starts to follow me into the bathroom.   "What?" I ask.   "Are you going to fucking watch me take a leak now, too?"

  He ignores me, going in first and looking around.   Delaney's damn father apparently hires security who think they're guarding the President or something, instead of a two-bit celebrity like me.

  I'm washing my hands, noting that Delaney still hasn't texted me back, when the door opens.   I expect it to be the bodyguard, but it isn't.   It's Chelsea.

  "Shit.   Can't I get two minutes of quiet?"

  She pouts.   That damn pout of hers has got to go.   It's so fucking annoying.   What is it with girls and pouting?  It doesn't look cute; it looks juvenile.   Delaney doesn't pout.   The thought goes through my head and I want to rip it out of my brain.   Screw Delaney and whoever she's hooking up with in Dallas.

  "Do you want me to leave?" Chelsea asks.   She walks over to me, stands in front of me with her hand on her hip and one leg jutted out to the side.   She knows how to work her body, I'll give her that much.   She's wearing this little red number that offsets her creamy skin and her black hair.

  Do I want her to leave?  I hesitate before I answer.   "Whatever you're about to say, don't.   It'll just make it awkward in the future, Chelsea. "

  She purses her lips, eyes me thoughtfully.   But she doesn't move.   "You're my client," she says.   "Which means I'm at your disposal.   And you look tense. "

  "I am fucking tense," I say.   "When can we get out of here?"

  "An hour longer," she says, stepping forward.   I realize she thought that my saying I was tense was an invitation for more.   "If you'd like, I can help you feel…less tense. "

  I should take her up on the invitation.   Or take the other chick up on her invite for more.   That would be the smart thing to do.   That would be the Gaige thing to do.

  But my phone is in my pocket, weighing heavy on my thoughts.   And more specifically, Delaney is weighing on my thoughts.   It's her I can't get out of my fucking head.

  "Well?" she asks.

  "Well, nothing, Chelsea," I say, my voice hard.   "I hope I don't have to get a new manager at Marlowe because things got awkward between us. "

  Chelsea slides her palms down the sides of her dress, straightening the fabric.   "I hope not," she says.   "It would be a shame to lose you as a client. "

  Then she turns and walks out of the bathroom like nothing ever happened.

  “I’ve always wanted you, Gaige. ”  Delaney unhooks her bra and tosses it to the floor, her bare breasts full in front of me.   She shimmies out of her panties, shaking them from her thighs, the movement making her breasts sway.

  Page 20

  I reach out to touch them, but she shakes her head, making a tsk-tsk sound with her tongue before she drops to her knees at my feet.   Holy shit.   I take her face in my hands, her skin smooth against my palms, and pull her face up to look at me.   I can’t stop looking at her.   I can’t believe this is Delaney – the girl I lusted after all summer, the girl I still can’t stop thinking about.   Classy, breathtakingly beautiful, out-of-my-league Delaney Marlowe.

  On her knees, her face so close to my cock I can feel her warm breath against my skin.   Christ, my fucking dick is about to explode already.

  She looks up at me, mischief in her eyes, then opens her mouth, touching the tip of her tongue to the head of my cock, where pre-cum already glistens on the tip.   Her eyes never leave mine, and the fact that she’s looking at me the way she is, her mouth open, like she’s begging for it, makes me want to come already.

  “Shit, Delaney,” I groan.   “You keep doing that and I’m going to come all over that pretty little face of yours. ”

  “Promises, promises, Gaige,” she says.   “You’re all talk. ”  She reaches between my legs to cup my heavy balls with one hand as she wraps her lips around my cock, enveloping me with her warm wet mouth.

  “I’ll show you talk,” I start to say, but I can’t think as she works her magic lips, so I run my hands through her long dark hair, pulling her against me, forcing her to take me deeper.   When she moans, the vibration from her throat reverberates up the length of my dick, and I want to let go.

  I wake with a start, my heart pounding in my chest, sitting upright.   Shit.   A fucking dream about Delaney blowing me.   That’s just great.   My cock is as hard as a damn rock.   I lay back against the pillow.   Giving Delaney hell for pure entertainment value is one thing, but a sex dream about her is something else entirely.   She’s made it more than crystal clear that she’s not interested in me anymore.   And there are plenty of women who are more than willing to be on their knees, mouths open for me.

  Wrapping my hand around my cock, I stroke my length, closing my eyes to conjure up an image of an open mouthed blonde with big tits, ready to wrap her plump lips around me.   The problem is, I’m so fucking close already, thanks to my dream about Delaney, that it takes all of a minute to send me over the edge.   And it’s not an open-mouth blonde I’m thinking about.   It’s Delaney’s face I see, Delaney’s tits I can’t stop imagining, Delaney’s lips I picture wrapped around my cock.   When I come, it’s because of Delaney.

  This is going to be a fucking problem.

  I’m lying in bed, staring at the ceiling in the dark.   The quiet in the house is practically deafening.   My father and Anja went to bed right after dinner.   Or rather, Anja was inebriated and my father escorted her to bed.   I don't remember Anja being a lush a few years ago, but maybe my memory of things is just that clouded.   What I remember about Gaige seems to be clouding my judgment now, making me think about our past.

  Gaige slides his finger underneath my chin, tilts my head up toward his.   “Tell me you want me,” he says, his voice low in his throat.

  “I can’t. ”  My voice catches, and I look away from him.   “We can’t, Gaige. ”

  “Because of our parents?” With his other hand, he reaches for a tendril of my hair and tucks it behind my ear.   His touch sends a shiver up my spine.   It’s all I can do to stand there, unmoving, when what I want to do is to tell him yes.   I want to tell him to bring his mouth crashing down on mine.   I want to tell him to yank my skirt up around my waist, to thrust himself between my legs and inside me.   I want to tell him to throw me down on the ground and fuck me, right here.

  But I'm nervous.   It's not going to be my first time- that honor goes to my tenth grade boyfriend.   But he's the only one I've been with, not like Gaige who's been with lots of girls.   What if I don't measure up?

  “Of course not,” I say.   “We’re not even related. ”  But I’m lying about the fact that we’re stepsiblings not being a big deal.   Maybe it wouldn't be a big deal here in Dallas, but I can’t even imagine the kind of drama it would cause in Manhattan.   My mother would be horrified.   I can already picture her face going white, the hand that clutches her cocktail glass shaking as she realizes her only daughter is hooking up with the bad boy stepson of her ex-husband.   She’d blame it all on my father.   I should have known that sending you to Dallas for the summer would be a mistake, she’d say.

  Page 21

  I’m beginning to think it was a mistake, too.   Do I really think that all of the running around, the late night talks about life outside in the garden and stolen kisses in the hallway, is a good idea?

  At least, I feel that way until Gaige slides his finger away from my chin and grips a handful of hair at the nape of my neck, pulling me toward him before I can even register a response.   A pang of pain surges through me, but he brings his mouth down hard on mine, muting my yelp, and the pain turns into pleasure as his tongue finds mine.

  He’s touched me before, of course.   There has been lots of touching – tentative at first, that first kiss outside after we'd stayed up until 2 a. m. , drinking beer Gaige stole from the kitchen and talking about life.   Half-drunk and delirious from fatigue, I leaned in close to
him, touching my lips to his.   That was all me, the first kiss.   I initiated it.   I kissed him.   That first kiss was teasing, tentative, joking almost, the kind of kiss that happens when you're unsure what the hell is going on between you.

  That kiss was nothing like this one.   This kiss is lust and passion and the pent up frustration that comes with all of the kissing and touching that's led to nothing except more kissing and touching.   This kiss holds the promise of much more.

  I give in to him, my body melting against his, desire flooding every inch of me, flowing through my veins.   I’ve wanted this all summer long.   I wanted this since the moment Gaige looked at me.   No matter how much I’ve tried to deny it, I haven’t been able to stop fantasizing about him.   I tried to hate him, I really did.   It seemed like it would be easy.   But then we became friends.   And I found myself liking him.

  I’m terrified of wanting him.

  And the thought of being with him, completely with him, makes my body stiffen.   Gaige feels it immediately and pulls back, holding me at arm’s length.   My lips throb from his bruising kiss.

  “What?” he asks.   “Still think we can’t?”

  “I – I’m not sure,” I say, my fingers touching my lips where he kissed me.   I’m not sure of anything anymore.

  “Gaige!” Anja calls from down the hallway, and I start to step away, but he catches me, his hand gripping my arm with such ferocity that I think he’s going to leave a mark.

  “Meet me tonight,” he says.

  I shake my head.   “No.   We can’t. ”  But I can’t help but ask.   “Where?”

  “The guest house,” he whispers.   “No one is out there.   We’ll be alone. ”

  Even now, four years later, when I think about that night, I can still taste that last kiss on my lips.   How fucked up is that?

  The phone buzzes again, the screen glowing in the dark.   It's a notification from one of my social media sites, and I feel a pang of disappointment that it's not Gaige.   Opening my text messages, I re-read the last one from Gaige:  Friends with benefits?

  Gaige has some nerve asking about my dating life, when he's in Las Vegas right now.   He's probably texting me while some girl has her mouth wrapped around his cock.